Could Be Better Days

I have been a little worried about Alex lately because he just does not seem to be growing much. I know he started off pretty big, but since then he just has not made a noticeable change to me. He still fits in onesies from when he was 1-2 months old and even though he was practically growing out of them a few weeks ago, now they are pretty loose. He has also been having some struggles nursing so I decided to schedule him for a weight check. Sometimes when I call the dr. I feel like an over-reactive or paranoid parent. I have 5 kids. Why would I need a weight check for my 5th?!?! When I brought him in, I felt even worse because the nurse put on the scale and said, "Wow! 15lbs 10oz!! That is great! What a great weight for an almost 5 month old." I felt really dumb. One wasted trip to the doctor. We went back to the room to get Alex dressed, and as I was dressing him the nurse asked me what his birth weight was. When I told her 9.9 she was silent, then said, "Oh." She charted his new weight on his graph and then her tone changed. Alex is definitely falling off of his curve. She went to talk to our pedi., then asked if I would be interested in talking with the lactation consultant. Of course I was, so she came in next. After getting some information on Alex's eating habits, she watched Alex nurse. NOT FUN! Within about 2-3 minutes her response was, "He should not be doing that. That is not normal." I am so--- sore. I am red from him biting me, twisting, arching. It outright hurts to nurse him right now. I feel so bad for him too because he is truly trying to nurse. He doesn't twist to look around. Most of the times his eyes are closed. She allowed me to nurse him as long as I could wrestle him for, which was about 20 minutes. After that, we stripped him down bare bum again and weighed him to see what the difference was. A whole 1 1/2 ounce. The lactation consultant went to talk to my pedi, and came back with both Alex's doctor and nurse to tell me he needs a feeding evaluation and swallow study. At that point, I thought I was going to lose it. This was not what I was expecting out of a weight check today. I thought maybe they would tell me I needed to supplement or that Alex has thrush, which is not the case. Not feeding issues! I am trying to stay positive, as much as I can, until I have a definite diagnosis, but I am scared to death! I do not want to re-live William's infancy again! I really hope we are not looking at traveling down the same road. For now, we have to wait to get scheduled with Robin Elkin, the same speech pathologist that diagnosed William for the first time. In the mean time, I am really concerned about Alex being so hungry. He obviously is not getting much at a time. We tried him with Alimentum tonight and he was NOT having it. I am going to try and nurse him as often as he wants for now, just to make sure he is getting as much as he possibly can. I will also keep praying that the diagnosis is simple and not a big issue like dysphaegia with aspiration. Keeping our fingers crossed!